


Buyers Remorse

by CrazycatSitter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: I Traumatized The Clones, M/M, Minor CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Oops, Order 66
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 03:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazycatSitter/pseuds/CrazycatSitter
Summary: That one time an online-shopping spree stopped Order 66.





	Buyers Remorse

Ever since one of the Coruscant Guard ordered a new civvi style letheris jacket from a paid advertisement program that ran in the lower entertainment and shopping levels, the whole of the Grand Army of the Republic had been plagued by holomarketers, setting off a storm of opportunistic companies intent on accessing over several million new potential customers and calling any available comm frequency that they could beg, bribe or steal, at an ever increasing rate, steadily driving the Clone Army to the edge of madness, as nobody, not even the Jedi High Council could get them to stop.  


It was starting to cause problems.

~~

Cody was just so done with the day, all he wanted was to crawl into his bunk with Obi-Wan and sleep for a year, and it was still only local midday. He had been eating Utapaun dust for days and his General had lost his lightsaber, again, and nearly got himself killed, _again;_ and now his comm was chirping. Unlisted Frequency. Damn those holomarketers and their persistance, this would be the tenth time he’d been called during a campaign this standard Lunar Cycle alone.

“Commander Cody,” the little holographic monk croaked, “the time has come! Execute-”

“Whatever you’re sellin’, I ain’t buyin’! Now for the last time, stop calling me, or so help me I’ll hunt you down and give you a blaster enema!” Thoroughly fed up and distracted, Cody snarled into the comm at the interruption, cut the transmission sharply and went back to finishing mop-up, tucking the comm unit back into its pouch on his belt. He had more important things to do than field calls, after all, his _cyar’ika Jetii_ was riding a lizard up a cliff-face and would need rescuing in a few minutes, and he intended to deliver that rescue personally, among other things of a rather personal nature. As congratulations for killing General Grievous, the cyborg pain in the GAR’s collective _shebs_ of course. 

When the war was over, he intended to marry that man.

~~

Darth Sidious sat back in his ostentatious throne, disfigured face twisted into a grimace. Every single one of the clone commanders, including CC-1010 “Fox”, had cut him off after snapping some form of threat at him, and none of the rank and file were on his laughably short list of available comm frequencies. 

The holomarketers had been willing to hand over their calling lists when the Jedi had brought the issue before the various Commerce Guilds, but he had cited confidentiality by-laws and turned them down, reveling in his genteel and respectable persona and supremely confident in the future success of his bio-chips working. He threw the holoprojector against the wall in a fit of pique at the oversight.  


Rubbing at his temples, the Sith Lord didn’t hear Commander Fox step in to investigate the noise and stumble to a halt at the sight of three dead Jedi Masters and Council-members, pulling his blaster to canvas the room. 

“Chancellor, I heard a crash, is everything all right, sir?”

“Oh just shoot me.” Palpatine snarled at the room at large, unaware of Fox stiffening at the unintentionally Force-laced words took hold, “This was supposed to be simple, one comm call and all the Jedi die like animals-.”

“Yes sir, I will shoot you.” CC-1010 said, eyes glazed and voice flat and eerily mindless as he drew a bead on the Supreme Chancellor’s head and fired three rounds in quick succession.

As the Sith’s body slumped loosely into the cradle of the chair, Fox shook his head vigorously as the fog of the Force Compulsion dissipated, and started shaking like a stim addict coming down from a high as he stared about the destroyed room and its deceased occupants and sinking to the floor, in shock. 

A small flashing blue light on the Chancellor’s desk signalled an active recording in progress, the light reflecting off of the shattered remains of the room-length viewing window.

~~

Appo paced back and forth before the detainment cells in agitation, smacking his comm against his palm each time it failed to connect to Captain Rex’s signal. He snarled under his breath, taking care not to scare any shinies, sick with apprehention and worry clawing his guts into uncomfortable knots of tension while sweat beaded along his hairline and ran down his back.

General Skywalker had come storming into the 501st barracks, hood drawn up to shield his face, barking orders and acting aggressive and irrational, so much so in fact, that when a corporal had questioned the order to march on the temple, he had been Force shoved into a wall and nearly bisected before Appo and two other brothers had been forced to stun Skywalker into submission for the good of the men and their Commanding officer. They were now hyperventilating on the floor along with several others, and he was trying hard not to join them.

He needed to be advised ASAP; this situation was out of control and he didn’t want to get his brothers killed for having to fire upon a Jedi General.


End file.
